The deal with respect…
Truth be told, respect is one of those important things missing from much of our society today. Most of us would be hard pressed to name even a handful of people that can be described as respectful. Coming up with a common definition can be an even bigger challenge!
In any successful organization, leaders must learn to delegate. But how can the leadership delegate to team members that cannot be trusted? Where does this very necessary trust factor come from and how do we develop it? The answer lies in the unbreakable interlocking relationship that exists between trust and respect.
Trust STARTS with respect. After all, you can’t trust someone you don’t respect. According to author Pat Williams in his book The Magic of Teamwork, “When you respect and trust your teammates, when you know you can rely on them and they’ll come through, you have confidence as an individual player and as a team—and confidence wins.”
The truth is that the sense of belonging, community and culture of any successful organization comes from the genuine respect and trust that is acted upon daily. These qualities help to develop a sense of mutual commitment not just to the outcome of a planned process, but more importantly to the very purpose of it.
The great baseball legend Tommy Lasorda stated, “I’ve learned that the only way to get respect from people is to give them respect. And that’s my way of doing it.” Stated another way, respect is a matter of giving rather than receiving. Respect, then, isn’t an adjective; it is a verb. We must choose to act, going first to show it to everyone in our organizations.
So, HOW do we develop a stronger sense of this vertical and horizontal trust on our teams? Here are five practical thoughts to ponder as we seek to promulgate and demonstrate both respect and trust within our spheres of influence:
Learn to be uncompromisingly truthful with each other-Nothing communicates respect and trust like honesty. Many times we are dishonest with one another in order to avoid conflict. Learn to develop tactful honesty with others. Truth is inextricably bound up with love and respect and is the essence of being committed to each other and to a common cause. Be open and honest with others on both the mountaintop and in the valleys of the journey together.
Character communicates respect-Do you respond to challenging circumstances with what others would describe as a “strong” sense of character? How we react under the pressure of the moment, be it conflict or competition, reveals a great deal about our character. What does it say about you? Your consistency of character will build trust and respect among your fellow teammates. As John Maxwell states, “When you don’t have strength within, you can’t earn respect without.” Character makes trust and respect possible.
Become a “blame buster”-In his book Beyond Success, Brian Biro says that, “one of the most destructive and disabling symptoms of disease within an organization or a human spirit is the prevalence of blame. Like a parasite, blame latches on from the inside and begins to eat away the spirit.” Take responsibility for the action of developing and promoting horizontal and vertical respect. Refuse to allow circumstances to drive your decision to act with integrity when it comes to the respect of your team. Craig Weatherup states that, “You don’t build trust by talking about it. You build it by achieving results always with integrity and in a manner that shows real personal regard for the people with whom you work.” Do not blame others-take responsibility for yourself.
Learn to cultivate a healthy sense of self-respect-Learn to trust yourself! Loyalty to self means being true to your word, unbending when it comes to your values and beliefs. The extension of respect to others can only come when we have the strength to trust and respect ourselves.
Learn to love the team and what it stands for-. In the Greek language, the word agape describes a love for one another that is a deliberate choice. This kind of love isn’t something you feel, it is something you do. Respect and trust come from the choices you make to love the members of the team, regardless of your feelings for them.
The legendary Packers coach Vince Lombardi stated it this way, “If you’re going to play together as a team, you’ve got to care for one another. You’ve got to love each other. Each player has to be thinking about the next guy and saying to himself: ‘if I don’t block that man, my teammate’s going to get his legs broken. I have to do my job well so that my teammates can do theirs.’ The difference between mediocrity and greatness is the feeling these guys have for each other.”
Trust starts with respect. Leaders have to go first to develop organizations that love, trust, and respect one another. At the end of the day, leadership is influence. Nothing more. Nothing less. And that influence starts with trust and respect.