Living In The Fog of Fear
Growing up I was in the Boy Scouts. We camped. With my father as the Scoutmaster we camped a lot. Even at that age, I was not a kid that loved sleeping in an uncomfortable tent...in Texas...in the heat...in a sleeping bag. But, to be honest it was one of the things my dad and I had in common when I was a teenager, so I was all in. One of my favorite campouts ever was to the Bedford Boys Ranch, about 15 minutes from my childhood home in Euless, Texas. I was probably in the 7th grade at the time.
Let’s just say I did several things that weekend that my father would frown on if he knew. Nothing awful or illegal - just dumb and stupid.
I remember that night it was foggy. I mean thick fog - the kind that gets in your lungs and weighs you down. The kind where you really can’t see your hand in front of your face. Doug, my friend, had brought four BB guns illegally to the campout that my dad had missed when checking our gear. Okay - we hid them and snuck them on the trip!
We decided after curfew that it would be fun to sneak out of the campsite with the BB guns and play war. In the fog. Where we couldn’t see. For us it was the BEST TIME EVER!
My dad didn’t have the same experience. While we saw it as an opportunity for fun, he got pretty bent out of shape trying to control the chaos when he realized we were out of our tent and couldn’t find us. Not being able to see what is going on while hearing even the faint sound of BB gunshots will do that to you.
Isn’t that what a fog can do to all of us? The kind of fog that takes our breath away and weighs heavy on us. Author Jocko Willink in his book Extreme Ownership describes what soldiers refer to as the “fog of war” in battle which they say, “rolls in with its confusion and chaos, and mayhem, and with its gunfire, and enemy attacks.” He goes on to discuss how it is the commander’s job in that fog to take extreme ownership of the situation at hand. In the fog of war and in the midst of chaos, it is the leader’s job to make the right choice.
As stated earlier, the last few years have been foggy. As a society, we are still dealing with the ramifications of the COVID-19 pandemic. Social and political unrest is at an all-time high. The fear of failure, of being alone, and of the unknown is ever present. At times it has taken our breath away. It weighs heavily on all of us. There continues to be confusion, chaos, and mayhem all around. Trying in our own strength to control that chaos has taken its toll on everyone, especially leaders!
Even though there is still a thick fog to deal with, we have daily choices to make. Stephen Covey in his landmark book The 8th Habit, says “Fundamentally, we are a product of CHOICE, not nature (genes) or nurture (upbringing/environment). Certainly, genes and culture exert strong influence, but they do not determine. Next to life itself, the power to CHOOSE is the greatest gift. The power and freedom stand in stark contrast to the mind-set of victimization and culture of blame so prevalent in today’s society.”
Things are tough in this foggy world. Let’s not mince words. However, as leaders we have CHOICES to make. Covey also said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom to CHOOSE our response. In those choices lie our growth and happiness.”
The solution to the fear we face lies in the choices we make and the actions we take.
Next week, we will take a closer look at those choices and the impact they can have on our leadership trajectory.
See you then!